Drinking Contest
by Dawnstorm101
Summary: Thor challenges Valkyrie to a drinking contest. It goes about as well as expected for him, and Val is left with two drunk brothers to take care of.


A/N: I needed salvation from all the Infinity War feels. THAT TRAILER HAS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE THE MOMENT IT CAME OUT. I AIN'T SURVIVING UNTIL MAY. LOKI WAS SO HAPPY AFTER RAGNAROK AND NOW HE'S HURT AND CRYING AND TERRIFIED. I'M IN PAIN. I NEED THIS MOVIE NOW.

Now to happy things. For a few minutes, at least.

* * *

Val sat on Loki's lap, smiling at his reflection in the bridge's window. He sat in front of the throne, having pushed Thor's legs out of the way to get comfortable, and was currently focused on braiding her hair, the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he concentrated. Thor sprawled across his throne, his feet hanging over one of its arms, reading a book.

He snapped it shut, glancing down at his brother. "I just finished a book in less time than it's taken for you to braid her hair."

"You only had about fifty to a hundred pages left," Loki muttered. "And this is intricate work."

"I can see that. Is she ever going to be able to undo it?"

"Shut up and let the man work," Val interrupted. She enjoyed letting Loki style it for her – it was calming for both of them. He got to focus on something outside of his own head, and she got his undivided attention for a while enjoying someone playing with her hair. Sometimes their positions were reversed – it paid to have a boyfriend with long hair of his own.

"And… there," Loki said triumphantly, tying off one last hair tie. She ran her fingers over her hair, tilting her head to see it in the window reflection. He had pulled her hair into thin rows of braids, exposing her scalp between rows, and braided them all around each other in one thick ponytail that he draped over her shoulder.

"It's gorgeous," she said, turning to smile at him. He smiled proudly back, kissing the top of her head in thanks. She leaned back, resting her forehead against his neck, and was content to stay there for a while.

But Thor announced, "I'm bored."

"No one cares," Loki said.

"Heimdall cares. Right, Heimdall?" Thor asked the watcher standing in the corner.

Heimdall smiled wryly. "Ah, yes, I missed these moments. I think your brother has been patiently waiting, Loki."

Loki let out an exaggerated sigh. "What do you want to do, Thor?"

"I don't know."

"Then I'm not doing anything."

"But I'm _bored_."

"Thor-"

"Drinking," Val proclaimed loudly. "Will drinking make you two stop?"

"Yes," Thor said.

"No," Loki said at the same time.

Val got to her feet, reaching down to pull Loki up with her. "It will. Come on, we all need to relax for a while."

She led both brothers to the mess hall and grabbed as much booze as she could, dumping the bottles on the table between them. She pushed a lighter drink towards Loki, a heavier one to Thor, and the heaviest for herself. In the time it took her and Thor to drain their bottles, Loki had hardly touched his.

"Drink up," Val urged him lightly, flicking his bottle.

"I'm fine, honestly-"

"He's a lightweight," Thor teased. "He does embarrassing things when he's drunk."

"Even better."

"I just like keeping my wits about me," Loki said defensively.

"I will keep you from doing anything too stupid, ok?" Val promised.

"Aren't you about to get drunk too?"

Staring pointedly at him all the while, Val picked up another full bottle, drained it in seconds, and tossed it away. "I guarantee I can outdrink both of you with ease."

"You cannot," Thor protested.

"Oh, please," she said, rolling her eyes. "I saw your face when I drank that bottle in front of you. You were impressed."

"I was surprised because-"

"Finish that sentence. I dare you."

Thor chuckled nervously, shifting away from her a little. "What sentence?"

"Smart boy," she praised sarcastically. "Now, do you wanna bet on if you can outdrink me?"

Thor narrowed his eyes, considering. "Maybe we should just drink for fun."

"Do it," Loki pressed, barely hiding a smirk. "Bet."

"You make a bet!"

"Fine," he agreed. For a moment, he mulled it over. "All right. If Val wins, we get a whole uninterrupted day to ourselves – no work unless it's of utmost importance. If you win, we do whatever you say for a whole day."

"I'm the king, you already have to do what I say."

Loki arched an eyebrow. "You know we don't do that."

"We're doing that," Val said quickly, thinking longingly of an entire day spent with Loki. "Drink up, King."

Thor grabbed the nearest bottle and gulped it down, determination etched into his face.

-MCU-

Thor drank until he passed out, drooling onto his arm. Val was still upright, but the room was tilting wildly. Loki had joined in a little, just enough to now be slumped over the table, sobbing about all the books that had been destroyed with Asgard.

She slammed her bottle down onto the table. "I win," she announced to no one in particular.

"Mblergh, it's me," Thor mumbled at the loud noise.

"All that knowledge," Loki moaned.

Val sighed. "Do I have to carry you two back to your rooms?"

"I c'n walk," Thor insisted, staggering to his feet. Val scrambled up and caught him before he could fall flat on his face. "See?" he mumbled, leaning heavily on her and staring at the ground. "I'm up."

"You keep thinkin' that, big guy," she told him, half-dragging him to Loki's side of the table. "You wanna stand, too?"

Loki didn't even lift his head. "The boooooooooks."

 _My boys._

Resting Thor against the table, she picked Loki up, draping him across her shoulders. When she pulled Thor back against her, Loki's face was bumping into his arm, but neither one seemed to notice. "No puking," she ordered before leading them off. They nearly fell and hit walls repeatedly, but somehow they made it to Loki's room.

Thor faceplanted onto the bed, narrowly avoiding smacking the wall with his head. Val dumped Loki beside him and went to the bathroom. When she came out, Loki was using Thor as a pillow, evidently not noticing the real pillows a few feet away. He was still crying over books, and Thor was patting his head.

"We can rewrite them," Thor was saying. "Even though they were, like, billions of years old. What were they about? Cats?"

Loki just cried harder. Val couldn't tell if it was because of drunkenness, or lack of faith in his brother. _Both, probably._

Grabbing a blanket from the floor, Val wedged herself between the brothers and threw it over the three of them. She stretched her legs out over Thor and snuggled up against Loki. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Dream about the books. And yes, Thor, they were about cats."

"Yay, I remembered," Thor said proudly.

Val bit back the urge to laugh at them. She just wiped some of Loki's tears away and kissed his cheek.

Thor rolled onto his side, swallowing her and Loki into one big hug. "You're adorable together. I ship you."

"What?"

"'S an Earth thing. Stark'll explain."

"Ok. Just go to sleep."

Thor nodded, and a moment later, still squashing them in the hug, he was snoring. Loki seemed to accept this – after a few attempts to cover Thor's mouth, all of which missed epically, he passed out, too, his arm flopping down across Val and Thor. Val smiled contentedly, safe and warm between her prince and king, and followed their lead a few moments later.

The morning was kind to none of them, but the night was worth it.

* * *

A/N: I need everyone to survive Infinity War and Avengers 4 and for there to be some platonic cuddling of some sort, ok Marvel?! OK?!

(Ignore me. I'm a mess. A mess of Loki and Thor and Tony and Peter feels. I thought I was prepared. I was wrong.)


End file.
